Tonglen Meditation

The Most Powerful Practice in My Toolbelt

Jun 03, 2025

Hello Loves.

I’ve been feeling deeply sad for the state of our planet lately. The weight felt in the collective is undeniable. The amount of pain, fear and transformation occurring on both the global and personal level is staggering.

In Sudan, Haiti and Gaza (among other places) children are starving when there is more than enough food on this planet for everyone to thrive. There are people living in this country who feel unsafe, unwanted, and unseen. Systems are crumbling, illusions are being shattered and deep reckonings are arising. People are sitting in the fire of their own personal initiation as well - whether they are navigating grief, illness, heartbreak, loss or the growing pains and turbulence of their own awakening.

In these unprecedented times when I become overwhelmed with sadness and the feeling of helplessness, I turn to Tonglen meditation. It is the most powerful practice I know for transmuting pain - both my own and that of others in this world who are suffering.

Breathe in suffering.
Breathe out relief.
Breathe in darkness.
Breathe out light.
Breathe in fear.
Breathe out love. ♥️

(please read until the end for info on the solstice retreat on June 21st). Solstice Event ❤️‍🔥

Tonglen is a Tibetan Buddhist meditation dating back thousands of years. Its name means “giving and taking.” And that’s exactly what it is:

You breathe in the suffering of others. You send back support and love. ♥️💨

This practice is an antidote to helplessness. Rather than flinching from the pain and turning away, you walk straight into it with your eyes wide open - full of love and compassion.

You can do it for yourself when you’re aching. You can do it for a friend who’s drowning in grief. You can do it for a world that’s burning.

You offer your attention, your breath, your heart.

And here's the thing - it’s not “woo-woo.” It’s Real Magick, with a ‘k’ on the end.
Scientific studies in quantum entanglement and heart coherence show what mystics have always known: Our hearts are not separate. Our breath is not separate. We are ONE.

When you breathe in someone’s suffering and exhale love and support, something real happens in the energetic field. It is changed. You support another while simultaneously increasing your self-compassion and compassion for others.

This is one simple way we begin to move from despair into action - from overwhelm into sacred service.

Inhale the sorrow.
Exhale love.

If you are in the flames right now, you are not alone. Let us breathe for ourselves and for one another. Let us become the medicine.

🌬️ Tonglen Meditation Step-by-Step Instructions

1. Settle into Stillness

Find a comfortable seated position. You can sit on a cushion (hips higher than you knees), in a chair with your feet on the ground, or you can even do this lying down. (This is a wonderful practice in bed if you are awake and feeling overwhelmed with grief or sadness).
Close your eyes.
Begin with a few moments of natural breathing to center yourself.
Allow your body and mind to relax and arrive in the present moment.

2. Bring Awareness to Suffering

Use your imagination. Start by placing a clear, quartz crystal in your nasal passage to ensure that the dark energy does not flow through your body.
Bring into your mind’s eye a person or group of people who are suffering. You can start with yourself! In that case, bring to mind a difficulty or emotional pain you're experiencing.
Acknowledge this suffering with compassion—not trying to fix it, just recognizing it.

3. Begin the Tonglen Breath Cycle

Inhale: Imagine breathing in suffering as a dark, heavy smoke.
Allow this inhale to be an act of courage and compassion—you're not absorbing the pain, but connecting to it with an open heart.
Pass the breath through the crystals in your nasal passage, and down through your heart to be transmuted.
Exhale: Imagine sending out bright, healing light, peace, or love - whatever is needed in this situation.
Let this exhale offer ease, relief, and spaciousness.

4. Widen the Circle

Gradually include more people - perhaps your community, people affected by current events, or even those you feel challenged by.
Eventually, open to the suffering of all beings.
With each breath:
- Inhale: Breathe in collective pain or sorrow.
- Exhale: Send out compassion, love, or healing energy.

5. Conclude the Practice

In your mind’s eye, watch this person/animal/people you are breathing for fade from view.
Return to your own breath.
Imagine the quartz crystal being thrown into a blue flame and burned up to transmute the dark energy.
Rest in spacious awareness for a few moments.
Offer gratitude for your willingness to feel and care and to those beings you were breathing for. Thank them for joining you in the etheric realm.
Dedicate the merit of your practice to the wellbeing of all beings.

Tonglen is not about fixing others - it’s about building your capacity to stay open in the presence of suffering. 🙏🏼

✨ The Real Magick of Tonglen

(Those of you who know me KNOW I love the intersection of science and real magick!)

These studies underscore that Tonglen is more than a spiritual practice; it's a method with observable psychological benefits. By consciously breathing in suffering and breathing out compassion, practitioners engage in a form of emotional alchemy that transforms personal and collective pain into healing energy. Clinical Research on Tonglen Meditation:

Randomized Controlled Trial in Cancer Patients
A study published in Elsevier's journal conducted a double-blind randomized controlled trial with 103 cancer patients. The findings indicated that patients who received distant Tonglen meditation experienced a statistically significant improvement in depression levels compared to the control group.
Impact on Novice Meditators
A doctoral study at the University of the West examined the effects of Tonglen meditation on novice meditators. Participants engaged in brief Tonglen practices over a week, resulting in significant increases in self-compassion and compassion for others.
Application in Palliative Care
A retrospective self-assessment study involving palliative care professionals found that incorporating Tonglen meditation into their routine led to improved stress management and a greater sense of inner peace during challenging situations.

👧🏻🧒🏽👦🏼 Teaching Tonglen to Children

Tonglen's simplicity makes it accessible to children, especially during times of tragedy when they may feel powerless. Children are gentle souls who don’t have the words for the ache in their hearts when they hear about war or loss. Guiding them to "breathe in the hurt, breathe out the love" offers a tangible way to process emotions and contribute positively to the world around them. It’s that easy! They grok it and it empowers them.

Thank you for staying until the end. You are not alone. The suffering on this planet is real. And there are ways to help transmute it within yourself and for others. Try this practice and please let me know in the comments what the experience is like for you. ♥️ I am sending you so much healing love and gratitude for what you bring to this planet. And I am so grateful you are walking by my side. 🥹 jilli

ANNOUNCEMENTS 📣

🔥🔥 🔥🔥 🔥🔥 🔥🔥 🔥🔥 🔥🔥 🔥🔥 🔥🔥 🔥🔥 🔥🔥 🔥🔥 🔥🔥 🔥🔥 Sisters, the time is finally here! Who is ready to gather in Remembrance?

Remembrance of who we truly are beneath the masks, the roles, the stories — the veils we’ve unconsciously worn to stay small, to stay safe, to stay hidden.

I, for one, am feeling the divine timing of this moment like a fire in my bones. The call is clear: it’s time to return to the wild, holy essence of our being. It’s time to strip it all back! It’s time to grieve, to laugh, to scream, to dance, and to rise together in the fiercest love.

If you’ve been sensing it too… if your soul has been whispering “yes”... then this gathering is for you.

Honoring Kali Ma – Creator • Destroyer • Preserver 🔥🔥🔥

A day-long retreat with Kristi Williamson and Me, Jilli Ray Goldman.

Saturday, June 21 | 2:00–9:00 PM
Location: Private Temple in the Woods (Address shared upon registration)
Sacred Exchange: $244

We have a few partial work trade positions available. If you are interested, please reach out to me directly - Jill@JillGoldman.com.

On the longest day of the year, when the sun reaches its zenith and the natural world blooms in full expression, we gather in sacred ceremony to honor the Summer Solstice: a threshold of clarity, illumination, and profound transformation.

This potent day calls us to pause… to burn away what no longer serves… and to stand fiercely in the radiant light of our deepest truth.

You are invited into a full-day ceremonial immersion devoted to Kali Ma, the fierce and liberating archetype of the Divine Feminine. She who births, she who destroys, she who protects the sacred balance. She who moves in the name of TRUTH.

Together, we will awaken our inner warrior and dance with this sacred fire - not in fear, but in reverence. Through movement, sound, ritual, and deep embodiment, we will explore the untamed, transformative force that lives within us all.

Our Journey Includes:
🌺 Sacred Sister Circle
🔥 Breathwork & Activating Yoga
🕊️ Live Devotional Music
🐅 Primal Movement + Nature Immersion
🎤 Vocal Exploration & Rage Release
💃🏻 Temple Activation: Guided Meditation & Dance
🎨 Expressive Arts & Mud Body Paint
🍽️ Nourishing BBQ Dinner by the Fire
🔥 Sunset Fire Ritual

Come as you are. Leave transformed.
Dress in what makes you feel wild, sacred, and free. Most of our gathering will take place outdoors so please dress comfortably and with intention.

Let us gather in devotion, in play, in power.
Let us remember who we are.

🔗SIGNUP LINK- LIMITED SPOTS🔗

With Love, Devotion & Fire,
❤️‍🔥 Jilli